Oh, so THIS is 2013….

I’ve had a rocky 2 days and I’m hoping things smooth out or I will be running off and joining the Russian circus.

Yesterday morning I got a call from the college and one of my courses has been canceled due to lack of enrollment, and I was forewarned I’d probably be getting another call today saying me other class was canned too. I was supposed to start next week.

FML

So I looked at the course calendar, only 2 other courses for the “Bookkeeping” course are being offered this semester. One is only available online, the other they “strongly recommend” you take another course (not offered this semester) as a prerequisite. So not ideal and maybe this is a sign I should look at different courses?

While I was stressing about that I got a call from my grief counselor’s office, Dr. M’s office, they needed my nun doctor to sign the paperwork on my grief counseling before they sent it off to my insurance company. But the DR. E’s office couldn’t find my file and were questioning if I was a patient there and could I phone them and get it straightened out? Fine, phone them, they had found my file.

Still stressing over the school thing I decided to go online and buy the concert tickets for P!nk that C and I agreed would be our Christmas present to each other.

Fucking SOLD OUT

FML

FINE, I’ll phone my parents and see what they have to say about this whole school thing. (Clearly I was stressed out and just wanted someone to make a decision for me). Talked to Dad, we came up with some stratagies about handling an online course (treat it like in class, have a dedicated night to “attend”) and the strong recommendation about the other class (get the software, use online tutorials, the class doesn’t start until Feb, I have time to study it). Good advice, we’re back on track.

Today I got the call that my other course was indeed canceled, I mentioned I’d be heading to the college to register for the other two. And was told the online one was full.

The women I spoke to said she’d try and sweet talk whoever about getting me into the class since my other 2 had been canceled. “Try” being the keyword.

Shortly after I got a call from Dr. E’s office, they had received the paperwork from Dr. M’s office and she wanted me to come in so we could talk before she signed the paperwork…WHY?!?!?

And why isn’t any of this easier?!?!? I just want to go to school, get grief counseling and see fucking P!nk in concert, why is this all a big problem?!?!?!? I’d event take 2 of them being problems if the 3^rd worked out but nooooooo, everything has to be a big clusterfuck within 48 hours.

The earliest appointment I could get with Dr. E is 6 days from now, and no, she won’t do it over the phone. So if she signs off on it everything’s delayed a week since after she signs it has to go back to Dr. M’s office, then to the insurance company for them to sign off on it blah, blah, blah.

And I’m worried about why I have to meet with her in the first place. I’ve read a couple things over the years about certain sects of the catholic religion having no respect for physiologists etc, what if she wants me to seek counseling from the clergy or something? What if she doesn’t sign off on the damn paperwork?!?!?

I went to the gym, worked out and tried not to cry when I talked to C about all this (and succeeded in not crying). It felt good to vent. Working out probably helped.

Afterwards I stopped by Dr. M’s office and outlined the new wrinkle, apparently this isn’t that unusual, sometimes “family doctors” want to meet with the patient to make sure this is what they want….that doesn’t really make much sense to me since I read what was submitted to Dr. E and signed it, it’s what I want, in writing. I’m still stressed.

Next stop, the college, and yes they can fit me into the online course so I’m signed up for it and the other one.

P!nk is still sold out and at this point I can’t even muster more than mild disappointment. Yeah, blow me one more kiss.

I just really am flummoxed by how everything could collide like this?!?!? I think I’m owed a bit of a break this year. Is this some kind of sign or bad karma about the JO thing?!?!? (Oh, my boyfriend guilt is back!)

It’s not like I’m asking for easy stuff (ok, other than P!nk), school’s going to be work I’m not looking forward to and grief counseling was described to me by a friend as “the worst best thing I ever did”.

I’m trying very hard to move forward, very hard, and I’m getting worn down by crap like this. There’s no way Dr. E’s office could know that I’m having problems registering for school, and vice versa, and there’s no way P!nk, her agents, representatives, ticket sellers and other fans could know that her concert was something I was counting on to give me something to look forward to….but there’s still a part of me that’s screaming “UNFAIR”, as ridiculous as that is because the one thing I’ve learned in the last 6 + months is that life is not fair. I still think I’m owed a bit of a break ‘tho.

None of this crap would be happening if HE was still alive and I think that’s what bothers me the most.