I Bet You Think This Post is About You, Don’t You, Don’t You.

D and I had a good talk the other day. Apparently the death of a spouse has similarities to having your spouse want to divorce you, as is the case with D. I guess it makes sense, having someone you love walk away is a death of sorts, but they’re still around to complicate your life….mind you HE has obviously left my life a complicated mess too.

Anyhow we have a few of the same issues dealing with spouses that, one way or another, have left. He’s pretty much in the same boat as I am in the cooking/eating department. Cooking for one, an actual meal, is too much work and depressing to boot. He does have 2 kids to look after but chicken strips and vegetables isn’t exactly the kind of cooking he misses doing. I’m not even to the point of missing cooking, I just don’t care.

He’s also had sleep issues, he’s stressed out over money issues, and we both drink more coffee than we used to.

As much as both of our situations suck it’s nice to have common issues we can talk about, and maybe solve. We don’t talk about HIM ‘tho, if we do it’s only in passing. HE’s the big white elephant in the room we can’t discuss yet.

So I’ve got all these amazing friends that have rallied around me. Some have been a constant in my life for years, (or longer) some were in my life a few years ago (or longer) and have re-emerged. Some are people I’ve only met a handful of times but they’ve had good advice to share or just been plain nice.

Then I have a handful of others that I just don’t understand.

Disclaimer: I’ve got a pretty accurate idea of who’s reading this blog currently, if you think I’m talking about you below, I’m not.

(And get over your self, there are people out there who are way more irritating than you!)



Of course CH is a total overachiever and did
find me a unicorn...'tho not really in the
form I was expecting.

 A few people made offers and plans to phone me in a few weeks so we can get together, do something fun, but I haven’t heard from them since.

Or they’ve asked if there was anything they could do, and when I actually told them, I never heard back. (This doesn’t include the people that I told I needed a unicorn, I understand it might take them awhile to source a unicorn.)

I do get people have lives, busy lives, but why make an offer that you’re not prepared to back up? I also get that I make some people uncomfortable; they just don’t know what to say to me and might say something they don’t mean. A simple “I’m so sorry, I’ll be thinking of you” will do just fine in the future. (Not that I’m planning on doing this ever again!!)

Then there’s 2 people who’ve swung in totally the other direction. We haven’t been that close before, HE died, and suddenly they want to be my BFF and won’t leave me alone.
It’s just weird.
And I do have to mention Flurish of Trumpets The Queen of Inappropriate Flurish of Trumpets. She held herself a pretty big pity party on FB when she heard HE died, despite not having any meaningful contact with either of us in over a year. (And I do understand that it doesn’t erase the friendship they had previous to the last year but still…) Too busy on FB she didn’t bother to call or contact me.

At the funeral she said 5 words to me “Call if you need anything”, the irony is she knows I don’t have her new cell number and she unfriended me from FB months ago.

Too busy socializing at the funeral, she didn’t speak to my parents (who she knows), nor HIS family.

I’ve also had about half a dozen people tell me that she asked them if they thought I would mind if she dropped by to see me, and that she ”was worried about me”. I told them all to please tell her I’d like to see her. I haven’t heard SFA from her since the funeral.

Apparently she wants sympathy for being upset at HIS death and the appearance of concern for me, without doing any of the actual work.
She and I used to be pretty tight, it’s disappointing.

Clearly I have much bigger problems but why do people have to add to the weirdness?!?!?