It’s always sad when the circus leaves town.

So my parents have cleared out, P left a few days ago.

I’m alone.

Something you need to know about me is I do alone very well. I’m an only child and very good at amusing myself, due to HIS job I was used to seeing him only a few hours at night through the week. Alone has never been a bad thing to me.

But this is a different kind of alone. This alone is I will never see him again, we will never sit in the living room cracking dumb jokes about the movie we’re watching, I will come home late from work and he will not be here, I will never expect him home from work and then get annoyed that he was running late and didn’t call.

Any plans we had I will do alone, or not at all.

This kind of alone is making me hate him a little bit right now.

I didn’t sign up for this.

A friend from high school that I reconnected with via FB has been through this and she’s offered some good advice over the last few days…actually she’s offered advice that other people have but I actually believe her.

The big one was not making any big changes in my life in the next year. I had to ask her to clarify because I can’t imagine any changes bigger than losing HIM.

-         No big changes of address, like moving to Saudi Arabia

-         No big tattoos or body piercings

-         Don’t be afraid to get counseling/therapy

-         No men for at least a year.

The last one‘s actually hysterical. We didn’t have a perfect marriage, we didn’t have a porn star sex life, but I can’t imagine there’s anyone out there who could come close to filling HIS void.

I mean, I’ve seen what walks by my house, I’ve seen what walks into the restaurant, and it doesn’t inspire confidence in the local dating scene IF I’m ever ready. Not one bit...shudder...
On the upside, I drove by a farm yesterday with a FREE KITTENS sign out front, and I drove right by, yeah for me! P will be so proud.