We were married for 17 years, we dated for 2 and we knew each other through mutual friends for another 2. That’s 21 years…that’s half my life.
I keep forgetting to clean the cat litter because it’s something HE would do in the mornings before work.
When HE would leave on a trip for work etc I’d wallow in our bed, sleep in the middle and hog all the pillows and sheets. Now I stick to my side of the bed because he’s not on a trip.
A few times I’ve walked home from working the dinner shift and wondered why the car isn’t in our driveway and why HE isn’t home yet.
I’ll hear some kind of interesting news and think to myself “I need to remember to tell HIM about that”.
A week ago I was telling a friend’s son about a horse sport HE was involved in and said “but he’s retired now”…well, clearly. What I meant is that he had retired a couple of years ago.
When I’m talking I still use words like “we” and “ours” in the present tense, I’m aware I’ve done it on this blog too.
After one of the above happens the crazy cat lady in me (she can be very sweet) will mentally pat my hand and say “there, there, dear, you know HE’s dead”, and toddle off to make me a hot chocolate that never arrives.
I wonder if HE was still alive, would I have realized this year that I’d know him for half my life?
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